No Baby Yet....

Here's what's going on in my house:

• My 7 year old wrote all over a white turtle neck with big green and purple letters that say "FLASH" and "i'll be back" and "run, sucka". He also wears it with jeans and a pair of tighty whitey undapants over the top. Oh yeah, and he made a bandito style eye covering with eyeholes cut out. I need to take a picture for you.
• my husband is totally unconscious next to me, I think he took like 3 ambien last night and now he sleeps the slumber of the dead. Not so much fun.
• I am on complete bedrest. Complete. Lay down all the time. I totally cheat and go downstairs and shopping for groceries sometimes, then I pay with pain in the baby region.
  
• This baby is still breech.
• This means he's stubborn.
• He tries to kick his feet out of my bagina.
• I don't particularly like the feeling of feet tearing through my bagina from the inside, let alone the outside.
• We decided on a middle name...well...on another part of this name we're giving this child. I think he may have 2 or 3 middle names, but so does my dad.
• Harper Elias Michael Easley is what we have on the bill now. Maybe Elias Harper Michael Easley. I'd call him Eli, everyone else will call him Harper or something. I like Eli best.
• I'm the mom.
• That means I matter most.
• Its the 4th of July, hurrah! We're going swimming out back and bbq-ing and probably to some firework show at one of the 2352365224623 shows going on around Vegas.

On a lighter note, I watched A&E's "Intervention" the other night, there was a 19 year old moon faced girl, looked like she could be my sister...she was on drugs really hard and I was suddenly taken back to my 19th year and had a little mental breakdown in silence at Walgreens at midnight. My husband just stayed quiet, which was perfect, held my hand and reassured me that I am good enough now that I'm 32 and so far from that time to be the mother of these children in my house. I realized that moment...I'm so dang far from healed. What the heck do I need next? Seriously. Seasons change, this one's not so pretty.

Hopefully this baby coming within the next 2 weeks will make me remember why I love everything...right now I just see gray film on everything...tarnish...smoky windows instead of clear ones.

...catch me later, I'll be on an upswing and I'll be much lighter. Thanks for listening, and goodnight.