Monday, March 20, 2006

Instant Panic

Doctors comfort
sounds in ultrawaves
show us healthy movement.

Who delegates
the right to make me

Simplify your
explanations...don't take my/your

5 inch needles
into my stomach
just to find out if you're...

...going to be normal...
...going to be smart...
...going to need assistance...

They quote

"2 percent! 2 percent chance he'll have Downs Syndrome...but if you think of it this way, Mrs. E, its a 98 percent chance he'll be normal. Doesn't that sound so much better? Don't blame yourself, its a genetic fluke. There's nothing you could have done..."

but I wonder (every second of the day/night)...

Could I have taken my vitamins with better frequency?

Did I take enough folic acid?

Am I too old to have a baby?

...I have prayed outloud for days. I won't stop anytime soon.