Friday, September 29, 2006


I just passed out from 7 pm til 9 pm for no apparent reason. I woke to a screaming baby downstairs and this...smell...of something cooking. I know not what it is, just yet.

I have to declare, my son is a screamer lately and I am not tolerating it very well. I am in my room, listening to music and looking at vintage dresses online...HOLY CRAP I'm a teenage girl!!!

K, so my new love is Hot Chip and a many few of the songs on the Raconteurs album...

I have a 'script for a sweet sleeping pill/sedative waiting for me at Walgreens, but I'm too lazy to go get it.

I just had this dream, a few minutes ago, and it went like this...

I was talking to someone online who was also celebrating a holiday (new years) but in a different place. It was many hours ahead there and I was watching. Next thing, I'm singing "Auld Lang Syne" with them and I have a red drink straw, the little ones you get at a drink from the bar, and a cherry stem in my mouth and I'm being spun around. I had the hottest pink dress on and said person was there in the busy street with me in NYC. It was weird. I wonder if this other person had the same dream today. That would be awesome.

K, I gotta go watch all these shows I recorded all week on my DVR while I was crazy.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Let's Play Catch Up!

Ok! So!

2 weeks ago, the husband and I woke up the kids at about 6 am. We'd packed the night before and everyone had a hard time going to sleep. It was just like Christmas Eve except we were going to Disneyland and San Diego for a week. All of us needed this little vacation, the summer had been so rough with all the baby birthing and bed resting.

So we get out on the road and start to drive. Let me draw out the seating chart.

K, got it? I know you can't read the font, so let me tell you from top to bottom it goes
  1. Harper
  2. Alli
  3. Mike
  4. Tiffany
  5. Mackenzie
  6. Jonah
  7. Casey
Yep. There are tons of us. I know. I hear about it every day. So anyway, we set out. Before we're even out of tuesday morning freeway traffic that takes you through Downtown Las Vegas (the only way to California) we had miss Mackenzie (see spot 5/hot pink) who was "touching" mr. Jonah. (next to her in the green)

"She's touching me!"
"No I'm NOT! He poked me!"

and this continued for about an hour during which I eventually threatened to kill Mackenzie. See, I know she was doing it, I have this nifty invention that she has apparently forgotten comes in every vehicle...a rear view which I may view what's in the rear of me ie. her touchy ass.

So finally, I told her that if she didn't knock it off, she wasn't going to Disneyland today. See, here's where I made my mistake:

I am one of those mothers who makes threats that are inconceivable for example:

  • I'm going to tear your cheeks out if you don't stop
  • Knock it off or you'll get my fist up your nostrils til you die to death
  • Do you want me to poke your neck out?
  • I'm going to kill you to death and take away your tv for 3 months!
See, I have a quick threat mechanism that is faulty. She knows I won't do any of those things, Mama hates jail, so she continues. So when the no Disneyland threat came out, a silence came over the car and I realized I'd have to follow through on this one. Why? It worked. She shut up...for 2 minutes...which is better than nothing. Even still, she continued so...

When we checked into our lovely suite (more on THAT later) I put our stuff in the room and we all sat down. I told Mike and the other kids to go, it was only about noon, and that I'd stay in the room with Mackenzie and the baby. She thought I was kidding. I was not.

So we sat. And watched Oprah. And ate chips. And drank diet Coke with the $.25 ice from the $.25 ice machine at the glamourous suites we rented.

It was fun. What a first day eh?

Ok, so about the suites. I got this 2 bedroom 2 bathroom suite with fridge and microwave and 2 tv's for get this...$49. Yep. Seriously. It even had a really nice clean pool. No matter that it looked like every "motel" you see in scary movies that has murderers in the next room. It had 2 dead bolts and was across the street from the parks so...I bought it. We stayed in a 2 bedroom suite for 6 days for less than $300. Beat that crap with a stick!

We then did Disneyland for 2 more days for a total of 3 days, and it was glorious. I even nursed a baby in Toon Town! Who's gonna complain when there are 2 of us. My sister-in-law was there too with her 2 boys so I wasn't alone with the nursing. My mom was there as well, so it went really well. We had a blast.

Friday we did San Diego and Coronado. I love it there, I would marry it if I could. Saturday we went to Mike's parent's house. Total adventure, can I tell you? I'm white, my kids are mainly white, Mike's dad is a BLACK BLACK man with a really loud voice. He's from Tennessee so he's really noisy and jokey so you can imagine. His mom made 235626 lbs of food. Meat and eggrolls to die for. We ate til we were sick, and she and her Korean friends talked Korean all day and poked and prodded the baby. He tolerated it quite well and even charmed them with his lil dimples and songs. Good times.

The next morning, we went to breakfast with Mike's college buddies and it was fun. Lunch and dinner in Redlands was awesome with some MORE of our friends. Sounds fun, ok no its boring you but here's where the grand finale comes!

We get home at midnight Sunday night, the kids all have school the next morning right? We pull up to the house and all of the lights are off.

"Honey", I say, "did you turn off the lights before we left?"

"No," he says.

Yep, you guessed it. Our power had kicked off the day we left and all of the food in our fridge and freezer had exploded. EVERYWHERE!!!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we went to bed by candlelight and the next day I died.

Good story!!!

The end.

PS, Happy Birthday husband! You're 29 today, and that's hot. I love you!

Friday, September 22, 2006


Dr. Phil's producer just called my house. Swear to God. I wrote them a letter about Mackenzie being bullied, they want us to go on the show, but Mackenzie is worried it will make things worse. I have to tell them yes or no by 6pm tonight. Crazy.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

New Pics of the baby boy and fam!

and if you look closely, you'll see my new fabulous platinum hair...through the dirty mirror of my master bathroom.

k go.

Monday, September 04, 2006

I Come Bearing Gifts

First, I talked to my brother today all day long on the IM and the phone. He's JTO, also known as Taylor and I miss him. He and his wife Mandy moved to San Diego a month ago with their baby Dylan who is 3 days older than our baby Harper, and their 15 month old son Derek. So cute. Anyway...we are going down there to So Cal in 7 days and a wake up so I told him how me and Mike and the kids had made a paper chain to count down the days til we see them at Disneyland. He was so inspired, he and his wife made a paper chain to count down the days til Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Too bad he's supposed to be studying since he's now in Law School. Ooops. Don't blame me.

ALSO! For your final viewing pleasure, I was totally awake this morning at around 5 am, it was dark and I often challenge myself to make something in Microsoft Paint. I set a 5 minute timer and go for it. May I introduce, my latest piece...

Edward Was Scared Of The Cat So He Hid Behind The Dresser

RIP Steve Irwin

You were totally crazy dude, and your 80's feathered hair and bootie shorts made me giggle but man, the way you handled those damn crocs. RIP my friend, you should have stuck to wranglin' crocodiles...CRIKEY!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

I Want Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Please Please my baby all of these.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is Music."

-- Aldous Huxley