2 weeks ago, the husband and I woke up the kids at about 6 am. We'd packed the night before and everyone had a hard time going to sleep. It was just like Christmas Eve except we were going to Disneyland and San Diego for a week. All of us needed this little vacation, the summer had been so rough with all the baby birthing and bed resting.
So we get out on the road and start to drive. Let me draw out the seating chart.
K, got it? I know you can't read the font, so let me tell you from top to bottom it goes
"She's touching me!"
"No I'm NOT! He poked me!"
"No I DIDN'T! SHE'S LYING!!"
and this continued for about an hour during which I eventually threatened to kill Mackenzie. See, I know she was doing it, I have this nifty invention that she has apparently forgotten comes in every vehicle...a rear view mirror...in which I may view what's in the rear of me ie. her touchy ass.
So finally, I told her that if she didn't knock it off, she wasn't going to Disneyland today. See, here's where I made my mistake:
I am one of those mothers who makes threats that are inconceivable for example:
- I'm going to tear your cheeks out if you don't stop
- Knock it off or you'll get my fist up your nostrils til you die to death
- Do you want me to poke your neck out?
- I'm going to kill you to death and take away your tv for 3 months!
When we checked into our lovely suite (more on THAT later) I put our stuff in the room and we all sat down. I told Mike and the other kids to go, it was only about noon, and that I'd stay in the room with Mackenzie and the baby. She thought I was kidding. I was not.
So we sat. And watched Oprah. And ate chips. And drank diet Coke with the $.25 ice from the $.25 ice machine at the glamourous suites we rented.
It was fun. What a first day eh?
Ok, so about the suites. I got this 2 bedroom 2 bathroom suite with fridge and microwave and 2 tv's for get this...$49. Yep. Seriously. It even had a really nice clean pool. No matter that it looked like every "motel" you see in scary movies that has murderers in the next room. It had 2 dead bolts and was across the street from the parks so...I bought it. We stayed in a 2 bedroom suite for 6 days for less than $300. Beat that crap with a stick!
We then did Disneyland for 2 more days for a total of 3 days, and it was glorious. I even nursed a baby in Toon Town! Who's gonna complain when there are 2 of us. My sister-in-law was there too with her 2 boys so I wasn't alone with the nursing. My mom was there as well, so it went really well. We had a blast.
Friday we did San Diego and Coronado. I love it there, I would marry it if I could. Saturday we went to Mike's parent's house. Total adventure, can I tell you? I'm white, my kids are mainly white, Mike's dad is a BLACK BLACK man with a really loud voice. He's from Tennessee so he's really noisy and jokey so you can imagine. His mom made 235626 lbs of food. Meat and eggrolls to die for. We ate til we were sick, and she and her Korean friends talked Korean all day and poked and prodded the baby. He tolerated it quite well and even charmed them with his lil dimples and songs. Good times.
The next morning, we went to breakfast with Mike's college buddies and it was fun. Lunch and dinner in Redlands was awesome with some MORE of our friends. Sounds fun, ok no its boring you but here's where the grand finale comes!
We get home at midnight Sunday night, the kids all have school the next morning right? We pull up to the house and all of the lights are off.
"Honey", I say, "did you turn off the lights before we left?"
"No," he says.
Yep, you guessed it. Our power had kicked off the day we left and all of the food in our fridge and freezer had exploded. EVERYWHERE!!!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we went to bed by candlelight and the next day I died.
PS, Happy Birthday husband! You're 29 today, and that's hot. I love you!