Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Deeer deeeeer dee dee Deeeer deeer deeeeerrrr!!

So I bought the damn Guitar Hero. I don't have 2 yet, but I borrowed my sister's last night. I'm telling you this because I trust you, internets. E'en tho I'm a 33 year old mother of 326, I am ashamed/proud as hell to admit that Hi, I'm Alli, and I'm addicted to a video game.

See, as a wee child, I was forced, errrr....taught to play the violin/viola/cello/bass and the angsty-rebellious side of me always wanted to master the guitar. One time...later...I picked it up. It was love/sex at first sight. So yeah. I love the guitar. I also LOVE the chow mein I made last night omg it was soooo good, but I digress.

So when I heard of the game, what...its fake guitar playing like D.D.R.'ish tomfoolery I scoffed. Not unlike the non-humble do...I'll admit. So last weekend at the Turkey Day festivities, my youngest sister who is 23 and a college student, brought it over to my OTHER sister's house and set it up. I watched everyone else play it on "Easy" and they'd score about an 85% every time. They'd ask me if I wanted a turn and I'd reply in my regular "reply" voice "NAY!" So, when they all went to the store, I picked it up to see how heavy the guitar was.........


........skip to 6 hours later.

*to be read with much gusto and anguish and shouting and fist pumping*

NOBODY HAD EATEN

NOBODY HAD CLOTHES ON

NOBODY COULD ASK ME A QUESTION

NOBODY COULD MOVE

NOBODY COULD TALK OR BREATHE

NOBODY COULD ....LIVE (dammit, LIVE!)

I was absolutely obsessed, still am. So when last night, after the debacle with the asshole ex (who is so going down), my husband said "we need to pay the power bill. Lets go do that and get a slurpee" I said ok because omg I love slurpees, especially of the Coke variety and ONLY from 7-11, but again, I digress...jeez.

So we were out, on our way to pay the power bill (i swear!) and I saw Best Buy. Suddenly the licks of Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand were pulling my hands toward the building omg it was so freakin crazy.

To summarize and give you a moral of the story:

I did not pay the power bill, I spent about $250 on a PS2 and 2 guitars and the first game. I stayed up and have yet to sleep, but I have won the game on Expert and I've only played it 2 days in my life. I am...a guitar hero.

Moral of the story?

When its the bitter winter cold outside, and you have 326 kids and one of them is a 4 month old baby...its absolutely ok to justify buying video games instead of electricity. I say so, and I'm a rockstar.

the end.

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