Coolest Thing I've Heard All Day

So my 9 year old comes up to the office in my house where I'm working today and starts to ask the basic daily summer questions:

• can I go to [insert friend's name]'s house?
  
• can [insert friend's name] come over to OUR house?
• can I have a popcicle for breakfast?
• do I HAVE to do my chores today?
• can I watch Star Wars again?
• are you ever going to stop working today?
• can we go swimming right now?

you know...kid talk.

I say "no, no, no, yes, later, sure, at some point and not right now" and ask what everybody else is doing. This is where it gets good. Pay attention to the end, its a grand slam, in my book.

"Tiffany is watching Maury, Casey is making toast, Mackenzie is sleeping on the couch and Mike just put a corn dog on her face."

Non chalant...calmly. Damn, I love motherhood.

Sinking Even Lower Into Domestication

Hey. I have some news, if ya cares one bit.

1. I was in the hospital for ever because my right kidney, it done took a nap. Painfully. Let me tell you one thing that saved me: IV injections every 2 hours for more than a week of...yes folks...straight up Morphine. Thank you Jesus.
2. When I got out of the hospital, I realized for the first time that we're a one car family because of the turd ex husband who decided he wanted me to give my brand new Altima back. No worries. I just spent $26,955 yesterday for funsies on a new Honda Odyssey. Leather seats, A/C to all 7 seats individually, DVD player, 12 disk changer on the CD player, magic doors (!) etc. etc. etc. Feels good to be so family like. Oh damn! I'm almost as good as Britney, ya'll!
3. My hair is curly curly today, and very blonde, and when I'm looking at myself in the window in my office that shows me from my waist up, I look totally hot with my pregnant cleavage and big ass blonde hair. Man, I'm hot today...til I stand up to reveal the basketball under my shirt. Unless you're one of those people who think pregnant women are sexy. In that case...heeeeeeeeeyyyy...

K, what else? Hmm, I guess that's all. I'm tired and I need a coke, but thats about it for now.

Over and out.